Joy and Pain – Life is the mix…

There is a lot to be up and down about right now...

Apple iPad is coming out tomorrow. I won’t get mine for 3 weeks, but I love reading all the reviews and the news about the momentum of this machine. I’m starting to go a little nutty with anticipation. I’ve gone on iTunes and put several aps in my wish list, although I’m not expecting to purchase most of them it’s fun to create my own little mini-store. Included in my list is a car racing game, a painting program, Apple’s word processor and facebook and Tweetdeck apps.

I really feel like the gift is also the curse. It's always half-and-half. Whatever brings you the most joy will also probably bring you the most pain. Always a price to pay.
Alice Hoffman

The passing of the mother of my 21-year old daughter was a huge blow to our family’s psychosis. Two weeks later the dimness of our days is just now starting to lift a bit. My girl will be grieving for a long time and my heart breaks every time I hear the sadness in her voice. I’m her daddy in every way and I love her with everything I am. I can only be here for her. Men like to fix things, quickly as possible. But in some circumstances there are no fixes but time.

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.

Next Friday is Golf Guys Weekend. This is our third year. First it was four of us in Vegas playing 4 rounds in two days. Last year we did Phoenix, AZ area and grew to six guys and five rounds in three days. This year we’re going back to Vegas and there are nine of us and we’ve ended up with five rounds again including Angel Park, Boulder Creek and Rhodes Ranch. The only no’s for this weekend are no whining, no women and no salads.

The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love. What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
Pearl Bailey

Work continues to twist me. There was a couple in our branch a few days ago. They were here to sign documents. They are barely holding on to their business. I’ve become the bad guy in their sadness and they didn’t even look into my office as they walked by. I considered them friends as well as customers. I cared and care for their wellbeing. I hope they come out of it. The whole thing makes my heart hurt and makes me wonder if I might be in the wrong line of work. How did I get here?

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Erma Bombeck

Odyssey of the Mind ended last weekend. As my wife was the coach for these six kids (which included my 8 and 10) this event has been a part of daily conversation for about seven months. While I am so proud of what they accomplished and learned and so happy about their advancement to the state level of competition, I am so glad it’s over. Already the chaos level in our home has greatly diminished.

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.
Joseph Campbell

I’m terrible with money. Funny (or not) for a banker. I’m exceptional at analyzing, underwriting, helping my customers manage their money. It just doesn’t translate to me personally. At my age I should have it down. I have a very strong desire to revert to a time with no mortgage, no credit cards, no myriad of extra obligations that seem to drain me every month. But the trap has been sprung and now I work to fulfill those obligations. When bills are paid I can’t help but add up in my head how many hours of take-home pay it took to cover each one. That’s not a good thing over which to obsess. I wonder if there’s a 12-step program for bad money managers.

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.
Kevyn Aucoin




  1. Ah.... the pain and joy of Mr Spencer....

    Joy; All work and no play makes Spence a dull boy. All play and no work makes Spence have no money to pay his bills! - me

    Pain; No pain, no gain. By administering pain liberally in class, more students passed the latest exam, than last time - me :)

  2. This is a well written, thoughtful post. There is pain and joy and peace and war in life, in families and in countries. How we deal with the things that hurt shows up in how we deal with the joys. Your just being there for your 21 year old daughter, available and consistent, will help her travel her road through the stages of grief. You definitely are in a tough business. My son is still hanging in there as a loan officer at a bank in HI and our whole family was at one time in that business. I don't miss it at all.
    I know you have follow the guidelines of investors when you dole out the loans. Some people keep hanging on and keep trying for loans to stay afloat. You can only do what you can do. Odyssey of the Mind must have been a good thing for the children. I hope you and your family can relax and have a good Easter together.

  3. Lots in this post SLC--

    I've thought about your daughter many times and keep her in my prayers. Loss is very difficult and she's young to have to deal with such a big one.

    The iPad-- I am soooo tempted but holding off for a little while longer. It looks awesome.

    The banking biz-- OMG, I do not know how you do it. That is one tough gig!

    I read a little about the Odyssey of the Mind-- What a fabulous educational program for kids! I take my hat off to your family participating.

    And golf-- That was the only stipulation I made with my husband when we got married-- No golf! Fortunately he's not a golfer so we got hitched. Hope your Vegas weekend is grand and full of low scores!

    I'm just back from Spring Break vacation and glad I was able to catch up on your posts.

    Happy weekend,

  4. Shadow, you are hilarious! Thanks for the great comment. Your kids must be scared to death of you.

    Thanks Techno. So, what did you family go into from banking? My daughter is here right now instead of an hour away. Makes me very happy. Happy Easter!

    Hey Joanna, thanks for all the replies. It was a full post, wasn't it? Became a bit obsessive there for a few. Thank you especially for keeping Jessie in your prayers. She needs all the positive vibes she can get.



  5. I have a friend whose last name is Weed. She said that growing up all she had to do was introduce herself and she never had to buy pot. EVER.

  6. That's awesome. These days there's so much pot floating around I'm surprised anybody every has to buy it.


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