What I Could Do with the Pool
1) Throw some koi in it, let them get really big and then try to shoot them with my son's BB gun through the swampy swampness.
2) Put up fliers around the neighborhood that offer a place "to make your problems disappear... You provide the cement boots and we'll take care of it. They'll never find any evidence." (maybe the koi could eat the evidence?)
3) Drain it and open a neighborhood skate park. Any kid who clears the diving board during a 360 gets an Astro Pop next time the ice cream truck comes around... which seems to be every 15 minutes anymore.
4) Come to think of it, I bet I could get the whole neighborhood to contribute fundage if I offered to drive that damn, music-box-playing nuisance into the cold, enveloping darkness of the ever-murky pool waters.
5) Drain it and then fill it with dirt. Plant some lawn seed and then ignore it like the rest of my wretched lawn.
6) Speaking of seed... I could get one of those medical cards and plant a different kind of seed in the dirt. That would calm me down about the pool. Hell I'd frikkin' love that pool! Then I could eat the koi... Hmm...
Afterthought... If I get high and fry up some koi that just ate the ice cream man, does that make me a cannibal?
Second Afterthought... One of our dogs is named Cannibal and as far as I know he's never eaten an ice cream man.
Posted by Casey Freeland at 20:23