20.3.10

Rachael Weaver August 22nd, 1969 - March 19th, 2010


This doesn’t happen very often. I feel the need and want to say something, but I don’t know what to say.

On Thursday I had my 42nd birthday. It was by any measure a great day.

On Friday my ex-wife, the 40-year-old mother of my beautiful girl, lost her battle with Lyme disease.

In many ways we were opponents in life. We battled for six years during our marriage and then, as young parents often do, we battled over our daughter.

Jess was 5 when we split. She’s 21 now. This spectacular creature I cherish more than each breath was conceived during a period of very young, very passionate love. And that is how she lives her life, passionately and with mountains of love. She is one-half her mother and I can’t help but be grateful for that.

As much as we fought, as fierce as our battles were, I’m still torn up. It’d be convenient to say I’m torn up because my daughter is torn up and that’s certainly true. But it’s more than that. There’s guilt in there. There’s my own personal loss as well. I spent six years with this woman.

And now she’s gone.

She doesn’t get to grow old.

She won’t see Jess graduate from college.

She’ll never meet her fiancé or watch her walk down the aisle.

She’ll never see the gorgeous grandchildren Jessie will create.

She’s going to miss so much.

Rachael, you were one of the fiercest of all creation’s creatures. May you ride your wildest fantasies across the oceans of forever. Sleep well under the stars tonight. The journey tomorrow is a long one.

Cheers,

SLC

11 comments:

  1. Anonymous20/3/10 20:28

    Ohhhh, myyyy. This is so touching . . . and oh, so human. So very sorry for your pain. Thank God, time does heal.

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  2. I'm sorry for your loss...

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

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  3. So sorry for your daughter and you. Beautiful post.

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  4. Cherish the ones you have with you now. But never forget the ones that left us feeling incomplete.

    I am sorry for your loss :(

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  5. This post really brought tears to my eyes, Spencer. I am sorry for your family's loss and touched by your acknowledgment of past love.

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  6. My thoughts are with you and your daughter.

    People step in and out of our lives, and leave a part of themselves with us.

    You and your daughter have each other, and can live the life Rachael would have wanted you to.

    Keep well. x

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  7. This was a very kind and caring post. I am happy to know that you are above the stuff that caused you to split up and are all about the humanity. I am so sorry for your daughter to lose her mother so young.

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  8. Sobbing my uncle. If you did not feel your own personal sorrow during this time I would be worried that something had snatched your soul over night. This is a beautiful tribute to Rachel and also for Jessie.

    I love you.

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  9. There are no words other than to say my heart is breaking for you and your daughter.
    xo

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  10. That was a beautiful tribute. Life is so taken for granted until...it's no longer there.

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  11. You have remembered her so well and so aptly. I am sorry for your loss, your daughter's loss but for Rachel's losses as well.

    Thinking of you.

    Mervat.

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